new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I would fuck him just for his dog
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