Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
