playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
