i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
