Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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