States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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