She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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