Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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