she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
