Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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