I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
