We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
