How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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