Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We are all done wearing pants today
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
