i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
