Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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