Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
