I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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