My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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