Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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