I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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