By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
