if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
