How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
