Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
