i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The uberlube is also flammable
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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