It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
