Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
