just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
try to milk me bitch
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