tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
