happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
