she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
