Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
