she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i love accidental penises.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
