it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
