About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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