Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
