I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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