who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
