AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
