I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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