dude i'm inner monologue high
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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