i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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