Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
