WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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