Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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