please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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