Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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