I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
