i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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