I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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