Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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