My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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