Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
