Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
