Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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